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By now, we’re all aware of the downsides that come with the holidays. But how could we not?

Christmas is the season with the highest expectations. Thanksgiving and birthdays come close, but Christmas is on a different level—because everyone is in it. Not just those who actively celebrate, but entire families coming together around a Christian holiday.

Here’s the first hurdle: today, most families have at least one member (if not all) who engages with the festive season for very individual reasons, often detached from its origin.

Combine that with the expectation to get everyone together, and you’ve created perfect conditions for tension.

In my experience, most conflict doesn’t come from one big issue, but from small, compounding expectations. Add political opinions, family dynamics, and food intolerances, and boom—the fuel is there. And this still isn’t close to the bottom of the iceberg.

So how do we prepare mentally for the upcoming days?

Before the days of improvising and accommodating begin, here are a few ways to stay sane—mostly by managing expectations that aren’t even yours. (I’d recommend letting go of your own first.)

1. Write it out

If you don’t journal already, grab a notebook, a piece of paper, or your notes app. Anything you can return to.

Before and during the holidays, reflect on:

• expectations you’re okay with not being fulfilled

• hot topics that could come up

Then remind yourself:

• you’re not here to fulfill XYZ

• there’s always a plan B

Finish with a positive outlook: what you’re looking forward to, and what you feel confident about. Small affirmations help more than we think.

2. Fresh air and distraction

Sometimes nothing works better than movement and something to mentally latch onto. For me, it’s walking with a podcast or running with music.

If you’re looking for seasonal input, I highly recommend Mel Robbins’ Expert Advice for Surviving the Holidays with Peace and Sanity.

3. Let them

Closely related: the LET THEM Theory by Mel Robbins. It’s a game-changer for calmer, more detached interactions, not just with family, but in relationships in general.

You don’t need to read everything. Even one resonating idea can shift an entire interaction.

4. CALM DOWN

I know it’s easier said than done.

But remember: you’re not off school or on PTO just to please others or manage their emotions. You also took this time to recover from a demanding year and prepare for the new one.

Whether it’s a face mask in bed, a short head massage, or sleeping in, choose something small or big to wind down.

5. New Year’s resolutions come later

Everyone is already talking about them. The lists, the plans, the next glow-up. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been spiraling too. But this isn’t the moment to optimize. You just stepped out of routine and into a season meant for slowing down. Use the days between the years to reflect and reset not the days meant for rest.

For now: enjoy, indulge, let loose. Guilt-free!

6. Breathe and don’t take everything so seriuosly

This might sound provocative, but it works.

Some families love to debate, especially during the holidays. Certain topics come up like clockwork. What helped me most was being a little unserious, without losing respect of course.

Not taking everything (including yourself) too seriously can be surprisingly powerful. It also means answering those pressing and uncomfortable questions about college, your relationships status, your job, your appearance and what not, a lot easier.

I hope at least some of those things will help you prepare for the next days and get you through the tougher side of the holidays. Other than than I wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Stay tuned for more to come!